Indian Matrimonial Sites in today’s times are a fertile field for lumpen elements to hone their skills on unsuspecting men and women of marriageable and not-so-marriageable ages. Let me make it clear that we are not casting any aspersions on the management of these wedding related websites. These websites were all started with noble intentions by the founders – an idea to create a modern platform for men and women to find each other and make the whole process of meeting prospective brides and grooms more efficient and effective.
But somewhere along the way, as with most other mass market internet properties, the seedy elements uncovered the hidden potential of the medium and began to use the anonymity and the relative ease of use that these sites provided to their advantage. As the founding partner of one of the best Pre Matrimonial detective agency in Mumbai, I have been privy to hundreds of cases regarding matters of fraud and blackmailing and I feel I am well-equipped to point out three of the myths regarding the use of Matrimonial Websites in India.
Myth No.1: Indian Matrimonial Sites are loaded with profiles of eligible men and women of all ages.
I hate to shatter this perception but the truth is far from reality. The fact remains that a huge percentage of the members on matrimonial websites are shady and definitely not eligible for marriage! To begin to understand this, you need to first of all understand how a marriage website makes money (to the tune of hundreds of crores!). Unlike social media sites like facebook, a matrimonial website’s business plan is built upon the model of charging every new member for registering on the website and lock them with a monthly or yearly payment plan. In which case, the websites do not care how reputable a person is before they are able to create their profiles on these website. It is humanely impossible to do a background check of every new registrant on such mass-market sites and so every Tamal, Diksha and Hari are able to register themselves on the website for a few thousand bucks, create a fake profile and begin their game plan of conning others. You have to remember the 80:20 rule. If there are 80 crooks on such sites, there are also the 20 odd innocent ones who have joined the site with good intentions and these are the hapless ones on whom these fraudsters play their con game which could vary from extracting money to even carrying on a fake romance and blackmailing them later on the basis of photos or other such evidences that can shame a person and his / her family. And then there is always the lie – I am rich, handsome / beautiful, successful and reputable – So Marry Me! It is only after the marriage that the other person’s true colours begin to emerge and then it is time for a divorce. The innocent boy or girl has by now lost all hope on the institution called ‘Marriage’!
Myth No. 2: Matrimonial Sites are the Only Avenue for an Arranged Marriage
Not true. Agreed that Matrimonial sites are a great platform that uses the power of the internet and technology to meet prospective partners who are somewhere out there but they definitely are not the be-all and end-all for those desirous of marrying a suitable and bright partner. Let us not forget what I have mentioned in Myth No. 1 above – the risk is too great in today’s times to only trust and pin your life’s hope on a Matrimonial site that any ***hole in the country with ten k in his account can join! It is time to get back to the time and tested tradition of reputed matchmakers who have been in operation for a long time and know the family members and history of all their suitable hopefuls on their record. Get in touch with them. Every city in India has a few and it is worth your time and efforts to check them out. But then if you are really hell bent on meeting someone through matrimonial sites (we did warn you!), you absolutely must do a thorough background check of the prospective alliance before confirming. Every city has a few reputed private investigation agencies who can do a discreet pre marital check and hand you a positive or negative report based on which you can then take the final call.
Myth No. 3: Matrimonial Sites are only For Those Wanting to Get Married.
Lol. Which world are you living in? The members of matrimonial websites are not just made up of con-artists who are looking to rip you off your hard earned money and reputation. There are also the swingers who are looking for a good time! Dating websites, unlike in the west never really took off in a conservative society like India. So where do libidinous men and women (mostly men though!) go to meet like-minded partners of the opposite sex? Matrimonial websites of course! Where else would you find thousands of pictures and personal information of innocent girls and boys really desperate to get married?! So a lot of men have created profiles just to meet women and have a good time. If you are a woman wanting to get married and raise a family, be very careful about meeting such guys. They will fool you, charm you, rob you of your virginity and then dump you to move on to their next conquest! And then there are of course the women – the smart world-wise girls who realise the power of their beauty and who will entrap innocent young men with their looks and their charms and then give the boys the shock of their lives once they know that they have them by their hearts and their *alls!
Amit Sen is the founding partner of Alliance One – a pre marital detective agency in Mumbai that specializes in providing thorough Background Verification Services amongst others. Amit is also a trained pilot and an aviator and likes to remain grounded on the days when he is not flying high.